Here is an email that I received recently that contained a great question so I've decided to share it with you here.
Enjoy,Al Abidin
Instructor Abidin,
First of all, thank you for all your contribution to self-defense.
I'm a college student studying Isshinryu Karate and Shaolin Kung-Fu. I might be fixing to start with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu as well.
Within this past week, I have been approached by two people - one guy who was homeless, and another who promised he "wasn't a bum" and from a respectable local neighborhood. Both were smaller than me (I'm 21, slightly over 6 ft tall, and about 178 pounds if that helps as a comparison). During each situation, it was a cold and windy evening well after dark.
I've already talked to one of my teachers about the former, and I know that helping someone is an individual decision.
I felt bad for not helping any of them, but I hesitate to say "how can I help you." Do you have any suggestions for this particular case?
By the way, I told both of them "I can't help you sir" and walked away. Looking back, I realize the mistake of turning my back as I walked off. Both of them had coats/baggy clothes that could harbor weapons.
Sorry my e-mail is so long. Thanks once again.
All the best,
Hello,
Thanks for your email.
I must say that your observation skills are greater than 90% of
everyone else. You described the two persons in question in
much detail.
In regards to the two people who approached you, I agree with
you, it is an individual decision whether or not to help them.
Neither I or anyone else could tell you what you should have done;
however since you've been kind enough to ask my humble opinion,
I'll give you my thoughts.
Anytime someone approaches you and you feel uneasy, its
normally for a good reason, especially if its a stranger. We
have been given a sixth-sense, that makes us feel uneasy
when danger is around the corner, or in this case, standing
right in front of you.
I recommend leaving the area whenever you sense something
isn't right, just the way you handled the situation that you
described to me.
As a side note; I've talked to those who work with the needy
and the homeless in shelters, and they say that any
money given to this type of person will go to buy drugs,
and or alcohol, and that if we give anything we are enabling
their habit. They say that its better to offer them food,
which I have done several times. When they asked me
for money, (during daylight, in a public, and crowed place)
I asked why and they said they were hungry, so I asked
them if they wanted me to get them some food and
they usually say yes. So I would go and get them some and
return to give it to them. On one occasion the
person was gone when I returned with the food,
but all the others they were there and quickly
started eating.
The last time I bought food for a homeless
man, I walked into a fast food place with
him, let him pick out what he wanted and
told him were the nearest shelter was.
So, to make a long story short, yes we
can help these people but we must certainly
be careful, especially after dark. Things can
turn violent very quickly.
Thanks again for your question.
All the best!
Al Abidin
P.S. When leaving someone like them behind, it would be a good
idea to use your peripheral vision to keep on eye on them
while you're also watching where you are going.
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Al Abidin
Cutting Edge Combat
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Lakewood, CA. 90714 USA
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